That Road March comes with one nasty cough...

In the last few months, I have had a bad case of VAT and then suffered through a case of Road March. 
Read: two bouts of the flu.

I have no idea why, but Kittians give their colds and flu viruses names, and the name is always based on whatever is the most popular local topic at the time.  In November the government implemented a highly contested 17% Value Added Tax (VAT) on all goods in the country – it was the topic on everyone’s lips and accordingly became the name attributed to the flu that was spreading at the time.  I made sense of this given that both things were annoying and unwanted, but in January, the flu that was making its rounds was named Road March after the exceedingly popular event held during Carnival in the first week of that month. 

Now, this isn’t a cutesy little thing or joke that kids and young people use – oh no, it is THE way.  You do not say you have the flu, you say you have the Road March.  Why?  I don’t know (or as they would say here, “me no know”).  Perhaps they though since we give hurricanes and tropical storms random names, why not name other things that cause physical damage?

As an amendment to my last post, I would like to add some new information on the sudden influx of seat-belt wearers.  It wasn’t that there was a crackdown, as I had assumed; oh no – it JUST became law!  Before last Monday, seatbelts were simply “encouraged.”  

Re-Affirmations

It has been two months since I last added any of my insights and experiences in St. Kitts.  I think it’s largely because after a few months here everything has become so “normal” that I fail to note the differences; nothing is really new or shocking or amusing to me anymore.  There are, however, continued instances that support my previous observations.  The depth of religiosity for example.  I am used to the pervasiveness of religion by now and respect their commitment to it, but still am sometimes caught unawares by how deeply their faith shapes their other beliefs.  A discussion I recently had with one of my supervisors is a good example ...

Within the context of a larger discussion, my supervisor was telling me about all the different animal themes you could employ for preschool curriculums and began listing examples to illustrate her point:
“Two-footed animals, four-footed animals, aquatic animals, African animals...” she said, counting them off on her fingers.
“Farm animals..." I added helpfully, "- or dinosaurs"    
“Yes, yes,” she replied, “a fictional animal theme!”

Or there was the conversation between my two co-workers who were discussing their disgust at how a science teacher at one of the local high-schools refused to use the term “God” but would only acquiesce to there being a “Higher Being”?  .....A science teacher. 
“Thankfully the Good Lord Jesus has patience and forgives people of such ignorance!” was the concluding statement of the discussion.

It causes a few hurdles for me in my work.  Yesterday I was trying to edit a newsletter written by my boss to be distributed to education workers, but wasn't sure what was a bible passage and what wasn't.  I did have the insight to leave the leading sentence alone:  "Thanks be to the Soveriegn God of the universe...."

My boss recently invited me to attend church with her on some unspecified Sunday.  What happened to networking over lunch?  Or golf?  I could learn golf! 
Actually, I would not mind attending a service but regretted my acceptance of her offer when she added, “We will have to do it soon, so you can come back every Sunday if you like”  Oh...... great.  Now I have to find an excuse for every Sunday from now till the end of April.  (Suggestions are welcome).  

As people continue to praise Jesus at every turn, crime, sadly and ironically, continues unabated.  Shootings are commonplace.  Last week it was an old man who was shot in the face because he didn’t get down on the floor fast enough when some guys were robbing a grocery store.  But that isn’t too major of an occurrence here - I can gauge by the level of gossip in the office and buses.  The biggest crime story of the year was a couple months ago, when 17 tourists on their way to visit the UNESCO fortress on a Sunday afternoon were held at gun point and robbed.  As a result, cruise ships refused to come to St. Kitts for days.  The town went into an uproar.  Cruise ships are the life line of this country.  Every morning at work it is the first topic discussed:
 “How many ships did God grant us today?”...  “Three! Oh, God is good!  I tell ya! Thank you Lord Jesus!”
The public opinion seemed to be that tar and feathering would have been too good for these thieves, had it been an option.  Though there is still time to reinstate it.  They reinstated death by hanging a couple years back to deter criminals.  An odd choice, I thought, given that this is an island of people whose great grandparents were slaves...

You would think that given all the crime, you would see a strong police presence, but it’s rare to see a patrol car.  I'd say I have seen four in as many months.  Although, in a country this tiny (population of this island is less than 35,000 and you can drive around it in about an hour) and this full of gossip, a cruiser would likely serve only to delay a crime.  The other day the driver of one of the van-buses asked the person sitting in the front passenger seat to put on her seatbelt.  It struck me as odd (seatbelts are not used here), until we passed a patrol car on the shoulder of the main road then suddenly every passenger had their cells out, calling friends and family to tell them to put on their seatbelts if they were driving and given the location of the cop car.  I heard yesterday that most cops are plain-clothed officers.  Makes sense...  


Next week: the Taiwanese commitment to St.Kitts....

Caribbean Christmas!

Merry Christmas from the Caribbean!!  Christmas in the Caribbean is a big deal.  Huge.  The festive drive of North American consumerism has nothing on the tradition of Caribbean holiday enthusiasm.  Christmas carols began playing on the radio in the middle of October.  And it wasn’t just that were played on radio stations, people actually intentionally tune in to listen.  And by people, I mean everyone.  I am talking about young guys and burly men blaring ‘Silent Night’ from their car stereos and singing along to Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want For Christmas’.     

While shopping is the focus of North American Christmas preparations, here the holiday season is synonymous with intensive cleaning.  Drapes are washed, floors are polished, nooks are dusted and crannies are swept.  On the weekends, everyone is out putting a fresh coat of paint on their fences and trim.  It is their version of ‘spring cleaning’.   The house must be spic and span inside and out, ready for the unannounced guests.  Christmas, you see, is the only time of the year where dropping in on someone completely unannounced is acceptable, and moreover, is expected.  Fruit cake, coconut water and malt must readily be on hand to serve visiting friends, family and neighbours.  They are, unfortunately, very big on fruit cake here.   I have had to repeatedly pretend to like the stuff.  I had one piece which was relatively tolerable, but I think that was only because it made me half drunk – the baker had a heavy hand when it came to spicing it with rum or wine or whatever it is you put in fruit cake. 

 My fellow interns in Barbados tell me it is much the same there – which I will soon be able to verify for myself.  I had originally intended to spend Christmas here in St. Kitts by myself.  I didn’t have the funds to fly home to Canada, or anywhere really, and I had braced myself for being alone.  I was mentally and emotionally prepared.  Until, that is, I was struck with the horrible news.  News that at any other time would be heavenly, that would make all my friends jealous, and might incite me to do the Dance of Joy:  my work would, for all intents and purposes, be closed for three weeks over the holidays.  I was seriously doubting the possibility of retaining my sanity during three weeks alone during the holiday season, but, to my great fortune, I had little Christmas elves working on my behalf.  There was a regional meeting scheduled at the headquarters in Bridgetown for the week before Christmas, so my fellow interns in Barbados, along with one of their kindly supervisors, suggested to the big boss that I should attend, and then I could stay on and spend Christmas with them.  So here I am, in the St. Kitts airport, suitably early, as I have been warned that the airline has an unpredictable sense of time.    

The major airline that services the Caribbean islands is called LIAT – which locals claim stands for “Leave Island Any Time.”  It is notorious for leaving late or early, but rarely as scheduled.  The airport is small, as would be expected for a small island, with only 5 check-in desks; one for LIAT and the other four for American Airlines, Delta, US Airways and British Airways.  The Caribbean provider stands out from a mile away (or, in the  case of this airport, 20 metres away) - its desk and dividers are draped in festive red and gold Christmas decorations.    The Caribbean holiday spirit putting the Rest to shame yet again. 

The exact plans for my tropical intern Christmas are not set as yet, but I am crossing my fingers for sunshine, because what could say ‘Yuletide’ more than a beach bbq?  Hell, it says tide right there in it.   So to all of you, I send my warm wishes from the Caribbean (literally and figuratively) for a holiday full of joy and love! Enjoy the snow while I enjoy the sand!       

P.S   I just went to the bathroom in the airport and I had to share this as yet another example of the religiosity of this island:

Taped to the inside of the bathroom door was a hand-written sign that said, “Delight thyself in the lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. “
Thing is, when I first opened the door to the bathroom, I couldn’t located the light switch.  After a moment of searching I noticed the sign on the door, except the curvature of the person’s writing led me to read it as, “Delight thyself in the cord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.”  So what did I do?  I started looking around for a cord that would turn on the bulb and give me the light I desired.   I thought it was just really poetic instructions.   

P.P.S   I wrote this blog almost 6 hours ago when I was sitting in the St. Kitts airport, I thought I’d post it when I got to an internet connection.  I am currently still sitting in the St. Kitts airport.  I think I jinxed myself.

Remember how I said LIAT Airlines stands for Leave Island Any Time – well, this time, “Any Time” seems to be the next day.  After 6 hours waiting, they cancelled our flight to Barbados.  But, in two hours (10pm) they will fly us 20 minutes to Antigua where we then can get a flight to Barbados….at 5am.  Not to worry - they will put us up in a hotel for the night.  However, said night in said hotel will be undoubtedly be truncated (that’s my new favourite word, by the way) after clearing immigration, collecting bags and heading to the hotel.  I estimate about 3 hours’ sleep then back to the airport to check in.  But the worst part is that these small island airports don’t have any food.  They have a tiny little canteen here with the obligatory airport array of sugary drinks, canned beer and dried-our bagels, but that closed hours ago.  The vending machine sits unaccountably empty – taunting me with the possibilities of what ‘A5’ could have given me for a measly $1.25. 
 

I have been to Antigua’s airport and am certain their canteen will also be closed, and I seriously doubt that the hotel we will be put up in will have food available at midnight on a Sunday.  Oh, the joys of travel.  However, given that I was stuck in Amsterdam for 8 days this past spring, due to the infamous, unpronounceable Icelandic volcano, I guess this is comparatively nothing.  But in Amsterdam their vending machines were stocked.  They even sold waffles and ice cream in the vending machines!  (Not together, it wasn’t like a waffle topped with ice cream and strawberries, I mean separately).  The upside is that it will be a sunrise flight.  And the flight is gorgeous.   On my way from Barbados to St. Kitts in September I couldn’t even count the number of rainbows we flew through.  It was magical.    So here is to rainbows –and the hopes of a large coffee and a bagel (preferably fresh) on the other side!         

P.P.P.S - I was right.  We checked in after midnight.  I fell asleep close to 2am.  No food.  It is now 3:30am - I just got my wake up call.  Cross your fingers my 5:30am flight goes as scheduled!

P.P.P.P.S - My 5:30 flight did not go as scheduled.  Well, actually it did, but without any of us on it.  Our 4am taxis sent by the airline were 45 minutes late.  So they put us on the 6am flight to Barbados.  It is currently 9am - we are still in Antigua.  It was repeatedly delayed and then when we finally got on the plane there were engine troubles so we had disembarked.   The plus side was that in the meantime the airport canteen opened and we all got to eat after 15 hours without any food. 
Here's hoping I depart sometime today! 

Totally Unrelated but had to share!!

This post has nothing to do with St. Kitts, but I needed to share this with all of you. 

For those of you who are unaware of "TED Talks" -I urge you to become aware.  They are 15-20 minute videos by some of world's most amazing thinkers and doers.  The themes and subjects are diverse, but all are progressive.  I have been jaw-droppingly astonished and/or enlightened by a number of them.  Most recently, I stumbled across this one and had to share it.   

http://www.ted.com/talks/susan_savage_rumbaugh_on_apes_that_write.html

The talk is on a species called bonobos.  Never heard of them?  Neither had I.  They are found only in the Congo and are simply an astonishing species.  They pretty much make chimps look like single-celled organisms.

I dare you to deny evolution after watching this.  Oh wait - now I can link this to St.Kitts! religion! 

A co-worker asked me the other day if I believed in god.   I wasn't about to lie, but didn't want to offend so I casually replied, "No."  
"Oh, so are you an atheist?" he enquired with a light-hearted smile.  He must have thought this was impossible and was somewhat of a joke, because when I replied yes, he almost fell off his chair: "What?! You mean you don't believe in the father, son and the holy ghost??!"
"uh..nope."
"So, what do you believe in?"
I was very tempted to say "dinosaurs".  But I bit my tongue.
"What do you think happens then when you die?" he continued.
"Nothing.  I live, I die, I turn into worm food."
Silence.
"I'm not saying I am right, " I added, "and that you are wrong - for all I know there is some higher power." 
I couldn't say God with a capital G, but I think 'higher power' was suggestive enough to placate him while maintaining my truthfulness. 
 He was shocked by this.  I wonder if he had actually ever met an atheist before.

It is important, we are told time and again, to be culturally sensitive when working in another country.  I completely agree with this, but I think it is also important to be truthful.  As much as I must learn to respect others viewpoints, they must also learn to respect mine.  It is a mutual relationship.  I think sometimes people in this field forget that.  Now, I would not have brought up or offered my opinion on religion had I not been asked, but I am not going to lie if I am.  I will however tread carefully and respectfully.
I will not, for example, show him this video.

Patois and parlance

A little historical fact:  St. Kitts was the first island in the Caribbean to be colonized.  The English were the first in and immediately set to exploiting the land for its capacity to produce large quantities of sugar cane.  Well, their slaves did it, they just sat their with whips.  The French, Dutch and Spanish all took a number of goes at usurping control, but ultimately all failed.  As a result, St.Kitts-Nevis is now an English-speaking country.  Or so they told me.  For the first few weeks I was here, I would be sitting on buses or walking in town and not be able to understand a word people were saying and thought it was their thick accents, only to later learn that it was because they weren’t speaking English – they were speaking patois.

Patois essentially means a local dialect; it is not officially a language and many countries have their own patois, Jamaica’s being the most famous version.  Some people don’t even consider patois to be a dialect and see it just as a bastardization of English, but trust me, it’s NOT.  I challenge any of you to understand what the hell they are saying; you could probably understand Farsi better. 

This island language has, however, taken on a life of its own.  Over the years, different versions have evolved in communities to the point that people from different areas must now converse with each other in English to be understood - which is a plus for me!  St.Kitts English is however, still influenced by patois commonalities.    First and foremost, is the subject/verb placement and verb conjugation; the verb “to be” is NEVER conjugated.  It is always just “be.”  When wondering on a person’s whereabouts, for example, “Where is he?” or “Where are you?” would never be heard, it is always: “Where he be?” or “Where you be?”  Or you can just leave the verb out altogether.  The response to “Where he be?”  would be, “he gone.” 

The pluralization of nouns is also widely ignored, as is the past tense.  Also, there is no such word as “my” or “your.”  “My” is always replaced with “me” and “your” with “you”, pronounced like “yuh” - in fact, even spelled like “yuh.”  Carib, the top-selling regional beer, is brewed here and their slogan is: “Like Yuhself.”  The other thing is the re-placement of letters in English words.  Everyone here pronounces “ask” as “aks.”  

I would sound like an idiot if I employed this manner of speaking, but I have tried to conform a bit by using the word “stay” rather than “stop” and saying that someone is “off island” rather than saying they are away or out of the country.   But, the turn of phrase I find the funniest is their replacement word for announcing their presence.  If you are coming up someone’s front walk or if knocking seems to be doing no good, you don’t call out “Hello?” you call “Outside”   It makes me laugh every time.       

But to be Kittian what you really need to do is “struck your teeth”.   Women especially.  You make fish lips and suck air in till it makes the sound of a balloon slowly losing its air.  You do it to show your displeasure.  And you do it often.    And then you follow it up with an indignant, “I tell you!!!” or “I’m telling you!!!”  Being indignant seems to be a favourite pastime for women here.  It is not that they are an unhappy or a sour bunch by any means, they just enjoy expressing themselves and putting in their two cents.  

 Though here it is more like two dollars.     

Kittian Observations Part II:

Annoying Kittian thing #2 – radio.  They never let a song play – the DJs yell over the music, blast what sounds like air-raid sirens during the middles of songs, or pause the song to yell during it – this contintues for the whole duration of the song.  .

Unexplained Kittian thing #4 – the vast majority of streets do not have a name.  And I don’t just mean they are missing the street signs, they simply don’t have a name.  And the houses don’t have numbers.  If you are getting a delivery, or a friend is coming by you simply have to provide landmark directions: “when you reach the top of the hill turn right, at the third house after the big mango tree on your left you take another right, then at the turquoise house you take a left up the hill and mine is the seventh bright yellow house on your right.    

Cute Kittian thing #3 – you can still use cheques here! Remember cheques?

Cute Kittian thing #4  -  kids always respond politely and say good morning or afternoon 

- if they don't they would probably get smacked. 

Religion Religion Everywhere

I have, in previous postings, made reference to the prevalence of religion on this island.  I don’t know however, if I have conveyed the true depth that “the Good Lord” plays in daily life, so I thought I’d take a moment to paint you a little picture.   

(As a forewarning:  I do not mean this to be disrespectful; coming from religious-sterilized Canada, I am simply in gobsmacked amazement at the role religion plays in people’s lives here.)

The island is predominantly Protestant, with Anglican, Presbyterian, Moravian and Seventh Day Adventist being the most popular denominations.  Regardless of what church they attend (and trust me, they attend!)  religion is a central part of life here. 

First of all – most everyone seems to pray.  And not just a quick cursory ‘Thanks for the food, God - Amen’ before meals, I mean rolling out of bed each and every morning to reverently do their  “daily devotions”.  And if kids don’t do it at home – or even if they do – they will do it at school.  Extensively.  Even in social situations, I have never heard anyone swear on this island, the most common phrases seem to be “Praise be to Jesus”,  “God is good!” or “Lord give me strength!”  When someone sneezes and they say “Bless you,” they mean it quite literally. 

The most common radio station on the island is Dominion Radio, the Christian station, and at my work it plays constantly. 
From 8:30-9:00 it’s local gospel music – women praising Jesus through off-key harmonies.  From 9:00-10:00 it is “The Old Time Gospel Hour” which consists of some passionate man preaching and sermonizing.  

(I did learn the other day that it’s not “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of doubt” but “as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.”  I like mine better. )
From 10:00-11:00 it is country gospel hour.  (Just when I thought country music couldn’t get any worse....).  From 12:00-1:00 its religious-based news.  From 1pm-2pm is more sermonizing.  (My favourite quote of the week:   “God is a gentleman; he wouldn’t force himself on you”....ummm...is it just me, or did they just compared God to a rapist....?!)

At about 2pm, the woman at the desk next to mine declares it is “sleepy time” and turns on her own collection of gospel music to sign along to and perk herself up.  This is not to say the radio gets turned off, or down, oh no – I simply get radio gospel on my left and my co-workers gospel serenades on my right.

All around the office are inspirational Christian verses: on calendars, posters, coffee mugs, in frames, tapped to desks, posted on bulletin boards....Email are signed off with “Have a Blessed Day” and bibles are stationed at every desk.  It was a full week at work before I realized that the repeated reference around the office to KJB was not an acronym for a work project but to the King James Bible.

Last week, we had a retirement luncheon for our boss.  Every person’s farewell speech included quotes from scripture – recited off by heart.  Although, there was a dispute on the wording of one passage, but no worries, they could consult the Bible - they had it downloaded on their Blackberrys.     

The open religiosity of St. Kitts may be at odds with my Canadian mind-set, but I did discover one common religious link recently:
Last week, I accompanied 3 of my co-workers on unannounced visits to home-based nurseries.  As we approached a house, one of my co-workers remarked, “the home owners will all probably run and hide when they see McKinley coming up the walk with us!” The other two laughed at this apparent joke.  My co-workers are all black, so I guessed that it was in reference to my skin colour, but I didn’t get the joke.  When I asked why someone would hide, my co-worker responded: “Cause when a white person you don’t know comes to the house it generally means only one thing: Jehovah Witnesses”